John R Purcell

The Christmas presents, which my wife had carefully wrapped and labeled for
all the relatives,were piled neatly on the floor of the dining room. They were going to be taken to a
daughter's house on Christmas morning for the traditional opening of the gifts and Christmas dinner.
Since pet dogs and cats are also members of our families, of course there must be gifts for them and so there were toys and treats for each of the pets.

I have a computer. It is a remarkable device, when it is working properly. It will drive you nuts when it is not, which, is a lot more often than I like. Of all the great inventions of mankind, the computer is most susceptable to problems than any of the others. An automobile can usually be driven thousands of miles without any problems. A refrigerator can operate for years, no problems. The same with a television or an air conditioner. I don't uderstand why computers can't be made to work properly without a problem occurring every couple of days.

The Standoff

The street where Mr. Persky lives is a two lane road in a residential neighborhood, but it is not unusual for him to see many cars and trucks speeding by exceeding the speed limit of 25 miles per hour. This is very hazardous to any wildlife that may attempt to cross the road and Mr. Persky has on several occasions had the unpleasant task of removing and burying the victims who failed to get across safely

I happen to be one of those people who can eat most things and not put on any extra weight and there is no reason for me to be on a weight controlling diet. However, my loving wife feels that she must limit her food intake so that she does not gain any extra pounds and has gone on a diet which , unfortunately, means that I am also on that diet. I call it "The Half Diet".

Anyone who has ever made a purchase on line or at a local retailer has probably been asked to agree to answer a few questions in a survey to determine if the customer was satisfied with the product and the service they received. Of course they would like all the answers to be very favorable and the questions are worded to obtain the most favorable responses.

The following is a satirical example of a typical customer survey.

Dear Mr. Arnold Fitzhugh,

An early morning walk before the days activities begin is usually uneventful. There are few cars or trucks on the road and the only other people you see are other walkers, some walking their dogs , or joggers. One morning an event occurred that was out of the ordinary. I was walking down a road which had four lanes of traffic and a median in the center. There was no traffic on the road at this early hour except for an old model minivan approaching toward me on the other side of the median and continuing on past me.